Sunday, 8 February 2015

Mother & Daughter Moments #1

Growing up, I was never really close to my Mum and that makes me quite sad when I think about it. I was closer to my Gran, even when we lived in Mexico and my Gran was still in Edinburgh. As soon as we came home, I preferred being with my Gran over being with my Mum. Of course I loved my Mum but I think my parents splitting up and my Mum bringing my Stepdad in to my life made me less inclined to be close to her.

Now, although we live over 250 miles apart, I feel closer to my Mum. I appreciate everything she sacrificed and gave to my Sister and I when we were growing up. I realise how hard it must have been for her being away from her own Mum for all those years and how horrible it must have felt to have me being me as a child. I was a nightmare!

Having my own daughter, these are thoughts that trouble me sometimes. Right now, Miss C and I are really close. She will choose me for comfort over anyone, including her Daddy. She shouts for me in the night if she wakes and she wants me to read her her book and tuck her in before she goes to sleep. She's still just a baby in terms of her life really. However the teenage years are just around the corner and I'm worried she's not going to want to talk to me or be around me once the hormones kick in.

On Saturday night, Miss C came down to the living room from her bed wanting to sit with me and go to sleep. Had it been a school night and I had college work to do then I would have taken her back up to bed, tucked her in and kissed her goodnight again. But the weekends offer that little bit of freedom and a more relaxed Mummy. I let her sit with me and watch TV until she fell asleep. She was cuddled right in and zonked within ten minutes.

She's only going to be this small for such a short time and, whilst I hope she will always feel close to me and need me as she grows, I know these moments won't be there forever.

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