Wednesday, 11 May 2016

What's Your Magic Number?

When you first have a boy and then have a girl, it's often natural for people to assume that you are "done". You are done having babies because, quite frankly, you can't have any other kind and once you have a boy and a girl (or a girl and then a boy), you have the perfect family dynamic. 2.4 children at its best.

But of course, this simply isn't the case. Many people go on and have a third, fourth, get the idea. Just because you have one of each sex doesn't automatically mean you are "done".

When I was pregnant with Miss C, we found out what we were having. I always said that if she had been a boy then there would be no way I would try for a third because I knew I didn't want to have 3 boys. That's just how I felt and I know plenty of parents who have 3 boys (or 3 girls) and are perfectly happy. However, we always spoke about having three children and I thought that if Miss C turned out to be a girl, which she did, we would possibly have another. 

As the years went on and the mundane things like money and job security became an issue, we decided to stop at two. Husband got himself a new job in 2013, earning a great salary but instead of trying for another baby, I decided to pursue my own career and went back to college. We even talked about Husband going for the snip! I guess two was meant to be our magic number.

The sad thing about it all is, as happy as I am with our two children, who are about to turn 7 and 9, if I had known that Miss C was definitely going to be our last baby, I would have cherished being pregnant, the newborn haze, sleepless nights, baby cuddles and feeds so much more. Don't get me wrong, of course I cherished those moments but maybe not as deeply as I could have. I think I had it in the back of my mind that I would perhaps experience it all again. Had I known that that would be it, I wouldn't ever be pregnant again, have a baby again, feel all of those emotions you feel as a new mum with a newborn, I would have savoured every last second. Because although you may have an idea of your magic number, you never know what may happen in life that could change that magic number to something different.

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